No Sex Please, We’re British!
A comedy by Anthony Marriott and Alistair Foot
Directed by Sarah Hinchliffe (with Tim Hinchliffe)
sarahhinchliffe1610@gmail.com
Key Dates
Information evening: Wednesday 19 March at 19.30
Audition date: Tuesday 1 April at 19.30
Performances: Tuesday 15 to Saturday 19 July at 19.30
Rehearsal period: Rehearsals will be held approximately 3 evenings a week (4-5 weekdays in the run up to the show) between 27 May and 14 July from 19.30 – 22.00
Synopsis
This hilarious farce premiered in 1971 at the Strand Theatre and played to full houses for more than 16 years, becoming England’s longest-running comedy. The play is very much a period piece and was described by the Telegraph in 2021 as capturing “the collision-point between British rectitude and anxiety about sex and the unstoppable flood of sexual freedom that the Sixties had uncorked.”
The plot revolves around Brian Runnicles, a bank cashier, who gets embroiled in escalating mania in the flat above the sub branch of a national bank – the home of newly-weds Peter Hunter (the branch manager) and his wife, Frances, who finds herself in receipt, not of the Scandinavian glassware she was expecting but mounting piles of pornography. Runnicles and the young couple run themselves ragged trying to get rid of the material while avoiding being caught out by either Peter’s mother – who seems to have “moved in” with them – the senior management at the bank, or, worse still, the local police.
Our intention is to present this in its own time, with an exaggerated nod towards the fashion and decor of the seventies and an acting style to suit.
Scripts for preview are available now from me at sarahhinchliffe1610@gmail.com
Information evening
You are cordially invited to attend the information evening for “No Sex Please – We’re British” on Wednesday 19th March 2025 at 7.30pm. This is for anyone who is considering auditioning or getting involved in the construction or backstage elements of the show. Printed copies of the audition pieces will be available, along with a schedule of rehearsal dates. There is a lot to pack into our seven week rehearsal period and so I will expect all cast to have good availability throughout (please bring your diaries/electronic calendars along to the information evening!) This will be an opportunity to hear more about the play and my ideas for this production and what will be required of the actors. It will also be your opportunity to ask any questions or concerns you might have, so you can see if you think this production might be of interest to you! We will probably read some short extracts from the script, but it will not be a full read through.
Audition Process
Please arrive on Tuesday 1st April via the back gate (next to the red stage door) on Middle Wall between 7-7.15pm. You will be registered in the Lindley Bar upon arrival, so we know what you are auditioning for, and auditions will start at 7.30pm. Auditions will be held in the studio, in front of a panel which will include the director, assistant director and up to two other Lindleys. You will be called in to read for the part(s) you have selected with other auditionees reading other characters in the relative scenes. You may be paired with multiple people across the evening. Once all parts have been read for, the evening will end, hopefully no later than 10.15pm.
If you have any additional requirements or need assistance in order to attend the audition, please let the director, Sarah, know by email sarahhinchliffe1610@gmail.com
If you are unable to attend on the day of the audition, please do get in touch beforehand and the director will try to see you before 1st April.
Please ensure all scripts are brought back to the Playhouse on or before the info evening on Wednesday 19th March, thank you.
Character Descriptions
There are ten roles altogether – six male and four female. This includes the Delivery Man (Male) who appears a couple of times and might easily combine with a backstage role. Please note that the playing ages I have listed should be used as a guide only.
Peter Hunter: Manager of a sub-branch of a national bank in the Thames Valley. Newly-married to Frances. Educated, ambitious, bright and energetic.
Actor requirements: Male, late 20s-30s, good mobility and able to deliver lines at speed. Large speaking role. Some physical intimacy with Frances. Accent: London/home counties.
Frances Hunter: Newly-wed wife of Peter. Lively, confident and independent.
Actor requirements: Female, mid 20s-30s, good mobility and able to deliver lines at speed. Large speaking role. Wears short gown and undergarments for the first scene. Some physical intimacy with Peter. Accent: No specific requirements.
Eleanor Hunter: Peter’s overbearing mother. Elegant, sophisticated, snobbish, socially charming. Has romantic interest in Leslie Bromhead.
Actor requirements: Female, late 40s-early 60s. Medium speaking role. Accent: London/home counties but exaggerated to suggest she is from a higher society.
Brian Runnicles: Chief cashier at the bank under manager, Peter Hunter. Single, straight-laced, highly-strung.
Actor requirements: Male, mid 30s-early 40s, good mobility and able to deliver lines at speed. Large speaking role. Spends some time in undergarments. Some physical intimacy with Susan and Barbara. Accent: No specific requirements.
Leslie Bromhead: Area manager of the bank and Peter’s boss. Charming and suave. Has romantic interest in Eleanor.
Actor requirements: Male, 50s-60s. Medium speaking role. Accent: British/educated.
Superintendent Paul: Senior police officer who is well integrated into the local community. Confident, slightly cocky/seedy.
Actor requirements: Male, mid 30s-late 50s. Minor speaking role. Accent: No specific requirements.
Mr Needham: Inspector for the bank. Nerdy and slightly officious. Insomniac.
Actor requirements: Male, 40s-60s. Medium speaking role. Act 2 only. Spends much of his time half asleep in his pyjamas. Some physical intimacy with Susan and Barbara. Accent: No specific requirements.
Susan & Barbara: Two call girls. Cheeky, confident.
Actor requirements: Female, 20s-30s. Minor speaking roles. Act 2 only. (The published script gives all the lines to Susan but I have reviewed this and shared them pretty much equally between the two of them.) Required to wear eccentric and slightly suggestive costumes. Some intimacy with Brian Runnicles and Mr Needham. Accents: British lower class or non-British.
Delivery Man
Actor requirements: Male, any age. Minor speaking role (partly off stage only). One short appearance. Accent: No specific requirements but quite gruff.
Audition Pieces (click on the title of each piece to download the audition script)
Peter & Frances: pp 34-36 – Peter: “Frances! Darling! Are you there?” to Peter: “Mother.”